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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Never gonna get it right.

I really wish I had girl friends.
Scratch that, although it's what I once would have said, now I just wish I had friends.
It's nice to have girls that you're super close to, something I haven't really had for a long time. Well, I've got Bekka, but sometimes she drives me crazy and it's nice to have a different perspective... I don't know.
I guess all the guys I thought I was close to were really just trying to get with me. Lately I feel like I have no one to talk to, no one to hang with... maybe no one I feel comfortable hanging out with.
I want to go swimming today but I bet I look like trash in my swimsuit, don't want to pay to get in the public pool, and don't have anyone to go with me anyway.

Oh well, I need to clean anyway.
I guess I'll just do that and maybe go shopping... or wait until dinner with my dad.
Speaking of my dad, sometimes I feel like he's the only one who cares about me. Now I know for a fact that's not true, I just know that he loves me a lot, and it sucks because we haven't been close for years and I just don't know how to achieve that closeness to him... but I want to. I just don't feel like we ever will. =/

4 comments:

AUDREY said...

I know what you mean.
I feel like I'm not close to anyone either. Remember when we were at Subway & I pretty much said the same thing? And then you were like "Me"?

That's how I feel.
I feel like I take you for granted a lot, because really, you are the best friend I have. I tell you more stuff thanI tell Autumn. I feel more alike with you, and I dunno. I feel like you just mean more to me. I would hurt more losing you as a friend, then losing her. =|

That's bad for me to say, but it's the truth.

I know what you mean about your dad too. I used to be a Daddy's girl, seriously. So, it ripped me apart when my dad just hurt our family like he did. I moved on, though. There's nothing I can do about it now.

Just know that I love you. you can always talk to me, or hang with me anytime. My house isn't that great, but if you need to just come & chill & be away from home...You have my house. Promise. :)

Anonymous said...

i know what you mean.
i need friends, too.
=/

iforgotmyname said...

dang... i think we all know a little too well what you mean...

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what u mean it has been a very long time since i had close girlfriends, I often feel lonely 4 the girly talk thing and all that stuff that goes with it, but...2 me the internet helps in that way,I guess. lol
BTW Richard is not my name ima lady sorry using wrong e-mail acct.