Spiral curling iron love.

Well, I didn't make all my goals because I'm quite lazy and unmotivated, but better luck tomorrow, eh?
I did finish my newspaper article, work out for 20 minutes, and make more than one person smile. ;) Haha.

I got this new spiral curling iron from Sally today. I went in like really close to when they were closing and I hope it didn't annoy them because I didn't take long finding what I wanted and getting it. I also signed up for a Sally card, so hopefully they weren't annoyed by that either as I managed to make it out the door at 9 which is when they close. :| Anyway, I can't wait until tomorrow morning because I'm really excited about trying it out! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

P.S. I did not cry today. :)

Goals for tomorrow...

I mean to type a blog about Scott, but not tonight, I need to think it all out first. I have cried every day since, for various reasons, and no reason at all.

Also, I have a lot of goals for tomorrow, mostly health-related:
- Drink all 8 cups of water.
- Eat healthy all day.
- Do one hour of cardio after school (and reward myself with a delicious piece of cheesecake, courtesy of Stephen!)
- Finish my depression article for newspaper.
- Make someone smile.

I think that's all for now...

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death amoung teenagers.

A friend of mine committed suicide on Saturday. We weren't very close, but obviously, I'm upset. It was something I would have never expected, especially from him.
Here are some interesting suicide and depression facts:

- 121 million people worldwide suffer from depression. (The World Health Organization)

-18 million of these cases are happening in the United States. (The National Institute of Mental Health)

-Between 20% and 50% of children and teens struggling with depression have a family history of this struggle and the offspring of depressed parents are more than three times as likely to suffer from depression. (U.S. Surgeon General's Survey, 1999)

-Depression often co-occurs with anxiety disorders and substance abuse, with 30 percent of teens with depression also developing a substance abuse problem. (NIMH)

-2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment.

- Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)

- Depression does not discriminate across age, race, gender, or class.

- There are also as many as 8.3 percent of teens suffering from depression for at least a year at a time, compared to 5.3 percent of the general population.

- The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.

- Suicide rates within migrant communities such as African and East Asian Americans or the Black British community are, also of growing concern. Statistics show a rise but in some countries it can be difficult to calculate. For example, in the UK the place of birth is recorded on the death certificate, not ethnicity, therefore reducing data on suicides amongst minority groups.

I think I'm paranoid.

You know those girls who takes tons of pictures of themselves, and think they're super cute even though they're really not? Well, what if I'm one of those girls and I just don't know it?!
:O

They all want me, they all want me dead.

I got some new makeup remover tonight. I used to use the makeup remover pads from Almay, the purple ones, but found that I had trouble getting rid of a lot of the mascara and some of the eyeliner I wore. I now have the purple makeup remover from Almay, but in the bottle. I'm hoping this will be better? I've read some good things about it on specktra so I suppose I'll find out tonight.
I really want to see Nick & Nora's Infitnite Playlist. Stephen does too, so I'm going to ask if maybe he wants to go on Tuesday night. I just hope it's not as lame/disappointing as Juno was.

I plan to write some stuff about him and our relationship, but not in this post. Maybe tonight or tomorrow... who knows.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there.

I'm really tired, and annoyed with just about everyone. I think it's time for bed.

But before that, I must mention one thing. I tried fake eyelashes for the second time today (while trying to come up with my Corpse Bride makeup for Halloween) and they turned out quite well! I didn't have much trouble getting them on, and none getting them off. (:
Check them out:
I used: (all MAC unless otherwise stated)
Blackground paint pot, Plumage e/s, Angel l/s, some neutral-ish lip liner from Avon, Studio Fix powder + foundation, Silver Dusk powder, Avon U2 black e/l, Covergirl lashblast mascara, and some false lashes that I got at Walgreens... I don't remember the brand.

(:
Goodnight.

What did you expect from me?

So I actually worked out tonight. (: I walked 10 minutes, ran 5, and did some different things to strengthen my arm muscles. So I didn't do all that much, but it's the first time I've worked out in probably two weeks.
I've just lost my drive. This always happens. I thought it wouldn't this time because that was the longest time I'd gone, just kept going and going, but of course, I stopped. And lately, I just feel like I've been getting fatter and fatter, especially my face and stomach, ugh.
So here's to starting over, and hoping things go well.
This is just the beginning, I'm sure I'll have to keep forcing myself because I just don't want to. Ugh, I can't explain it and it's really pissing me off.

I'm just so angry and stressed at this exact moment and I don't know why.
AJKGJKLGDLFHHDLHFGHKJAGDJFADLHVFLFJKF!

Dear God, I'm lost. I need you.<3